Longsuffering or Suffering long.

Do you ever ask yourself , "what am I learning from this?" or "what have I learned from it so far?" while in the midst of a trial? In moments or maybe years after the trial has ended do you find yourself reflecting on the positive outcomes?

When I was a full time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I remember learning from my mission president that we should pray and ask to obtain Christlike attributes and when you do this in faith you will be blessed with that attribute. BUT to possess that trait you must endure an experience or two or maybe three....

I used to think, "you better watch out for what you ask for because you just might get it." In other words when you ask for something you may have to suffer in order to receive it or you may suffer because you received it.

Lately I've been thinking, "you asked for it... hold on to it... make it your's, no matter how hot the fire is... no matter the tasks you must endure... the harder you have to work for it the more you will treasure it."

In Galatians 5:22-23 is reads:

22But the ^afruit of the ^bSpirit is ^clove, ^djoy, ^epeace, ^flongsuffering,^ggentleness, goodness, ^hfaith, UAdd a Note

23^aMeekness, ^btemperance: against such there is no law.

In that scripture I've always wondered what is the true meaning of "longsuffering" ... and even though I've never verbalized a prayer asking to obtain this attribute, I must have had a prayer in my heart to truly understand it because the heat was on :)

I'm not saying that I've been suffering for a long time (even though I have thought that often). I am saying that I finally understand to a certain extent what longsuffering means.

Through my journey of pain, insult, hypocrisy, depression, anger, fatigue, anguish, self pity, disillusionment, grief... etc. etc.

(and I must add that these feelings are all my own and no one made me feel this way, because I chose to have these feelings... yet another thing that I have learned)

... I was stripped down to nothingness... a blank white canvas for The Master Artist to paint something more magnificent than what was on it before, longsuffering.

Longsuffering is not just enduring the bad it is finding the good in what I feel is completely atrocious. It is concentrating on the beauty that dwells among what's ugly.

Longsuffering is recognizing and owning my faults and allowing the Savior to transform them into strengths. It is trusting in the Lord that He will take care of those things that I cannot control...(ie. other people's feelings... let them feel what they feel... it's theirs so let them keep it... don't take it on to myself).

Longsuffering is forgiveness... for others and for myself. It is finding balance in all things.

I have learned that there needs to be a balance between the physical and spiritual components of my being... when one is off the other will fall too!

I now better understand the Hawaiian gesture of saying farewell, "Malama kou kino"... take care of your body. I used to giggle every time I heard this phrase. But now I know better...when you don't care for you body your spirit also suffers and visa versa. So now you will hear me utilize "Malama kou kino" more often and with more feeling behind it.

The fruit of the Spirit is LOVE, JOY, PEACE, LONGSUFFERING, GENTLENESS, GOODNESS, FAITH, MEEKNESS, TEMPERENCE. When there is truth presented before someone... the feelings of these attributes will project themselves and that is how one knows the Spirit of the Lord is present... I know this with all my heart.

I must remember this lesson I've learned because life's journey has more ahead and I pray I choose longsuffering rather than to suffer long :)